Inspiring Story: Life being a single mom

*My Life, My Everything, My Reason For living*

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My daughter when she’s still 7 years old (photo taken year 2012)

-Being a single mom is twice the work, twice the stress and twice the tears but also twice the hugs, twice the love and twice the pride.-Unknown

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WELCOME TO MY LIFE!

I was 22  years back then when my innocent heart was hit by Cupid’s arrow. As a fresh graduate of my Degree in Computer Science I had no stable job at that time. Family problems arises and as a young and immature girl I was not good in handling problems on my own.

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My family was so shocked of what I did. Especially my father, he can’t believe and he can’t even accept the fact that I was pregnant. My parents thought that I am that type of daughter that” di makabasag pinggan like Maria Clara”.

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One day my daughter’s father went to our house and informed my family of my situation, but as expected my father was not happy with the news through by his emotion.He slapped my face.I was indeed scared that moment and I was thinking  my father might kill me.

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Since my family can’t accept my situation because they are so disappointed and they felt ashamed of what I did. So my daughter’s father decided to let me live with his family.We live in together but we did not get married for the reason maybe that we are still young or for the reasons that I have no idea at all. His parents never mentioned about wedding.

After my delivery, as a mother  my heart hurts when I saw her that she has a club foot. So we went to a private hospital and consult a doctor about it. No one help us with the hospital bill and medicine. The baby need to see the doctor and change the bandage weekly to correct the club foot. Since I can’t afford to pay the hospital bills, we stop going to the doctor.

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My baby was just 1 year old when I decided to work abroad so I can save money for her operation. It was the saddest days of my life being far with my baby. I always cry and always miss my baby  but I encourage myself and think positive. I always have in mind that I did this for my baby, for our future.

After 3 months working in Taiwan, I was able to earn and save the money intended for my baby’s operation. I am so happy after the successful operation of my baby.

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Then my next goal is to let my baby’s father finish an Education course so when I get home we will both work as a teacher. I send him money for school fees, allowance, and other things he need. But that dream of mine disappear like a bubble.

He met someone else in school. He use the money I sent to him for the school fees to apply work far from their place with his girlfriend. He left our baby and live with his girlfriend in the city. It’s the start of betrayal.

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My heart broke on that time. I sacrifice myself working abroad just for them. Hatred felt in my heart. I talked to the girl and beg to find another guy who has no child but this is her answer ” So? Anong gagawin mo kung magka anak din kami?” I want to end my life (para akong gaga noh? Buti nalang di ko ginawa yon ). But when you are already so down and hurt your mind thinks bad. Maybe it’s the reason some other people commit suicide but not me because I’m thinking of my baby and I’m afraid of God to do that. I have no right to end my life. At saka masakit yon noh? At mahal ang kabaong hehe!

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It was 3am when I received a bad news from the Philippines. My elder sister passed away. No! It’s just a nightmare! I’ve lost my mind, I’ve lost myself.

I came home to see my sister for the last time and to see my baby and my family. I miss them so much. My daughter’s father was there with his family during our mourning.AF21659D-C582-40A2-9589-6E777ACBFADB

After 3 weeks I went back to Taiwan to finish my work contract. I thought we are okay already with the father of my daughter. But, when I arrived at the airport in Taiwan someone message me on my roaming number. This is her message ” bago ka bumalik sa ibang bansa daanan mo muna ako dito…dahil my problema ako…dahil buntis ako”. I know it’s from my daughters’ fathers girlfriend. Yes! She’s already about 3 months pregnant. I pray and talk to God though it’s hard to accept that my daughter will have a broken family. I make myself busy with work and church activities. Sometimes I think life is so unfair but God has a reason for everything.

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After my contract I’m back home and take care of  my baby. Life is so hard for me here in the Philippines. I don’t know how to get back up again. What I’m always praying to God is to teach my heart how to forgive people who  hurt me  and let go of the hatred in my heart.

It takes many years before my heart was totally healed. After working abroad I decided to stay home for my daughter. I took up Education Units for 1 year  at the same time working part time job as a real estate sales person, recruitment staff for Singapore and online shoppe. With God’s grace and mercy I passed the Licensure Exam for Teachers ( Secondary major in Technology Livelihood Education). Then I started working as a kindergarten teacher.

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How I manage my life being a working mother and a single mom. The challenges I face from self doubt and anxiety over money to the stress of making decisions alone.Sending my daughter to school,preparing my lessons and myself for work,making food,and helping my daughter in her school work.

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Only me and my daughter at home. It’s not easy especially if my daughter get  sick. When she got high fever I can’t sleep and can’t go to my work. I take a deep breath, I cry..then get up and be the best mother that I know how to be. I’ve learned to trust that things are all going to work. Being forced to have this responsibility has made me a better person. I have found confidence and independence. Though there are nights that my eyes are swelling with tears but I didn’t want my daughter to see those moments of weaknesses. I am not alone, God is always with me. He hears the cries of my heart.

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To all single moms  out there, don’t give up! Let’s make our children our inspiration in life. We are not alone in raising our children, God is there to guide us and help them go into the right path of life.

God bless us all!

Matthew 11:28 ” Come to me all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest”

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48 Comments

  1. This is a beautiful story. 🙂 <3 Your daughter is very blessed that you are her mother. 🙂

    1. Thanks Vanessence! I am so blessed to have her in my life. Having a best friend to laugh, cry and dream with. An inspiration in life.

  2. Just one silly mistake and it has gifted you with a glorious child. What you are doing is brave and bold! It’s in the hearts of women like you, the seeds of powerful strong women are sown. Make the best of it! and kudos to you! 🙂 Be proud!

    1. Thank you Zack…just got back from vacation,visit my family in the province. I am truly blessed to have her in my life.

  3. Melody Francisco Alagase

    Ate, can’t hold back my tears. Kudos! Mabuhay ka!
    Thank you sa trust, kahit na ikwento mo na sa akin yung iba. Mas naramdaman ko yung emotion dito.
    I miss you!
    You deserved to be happy! God bless!
    Muaps……

    1. Ate Melody, there are many things that will happen in our life that sometimes we can’t control and can’t accept. And all we can do is to let go and let God handle it all. God has a better plan for our life. Masyado mang masakit but slowly and through prayer you will find peace in your heart. Thanks for the friendship and listening sa pagiging broken hearted ko hehe! God bless us more!

  4. It looks and sounds as if you are doing a fantastic job as a single Mother, keep up the great work!

    1. Thanks ohiocook. That’s my story for being a single mom for 11 years. I’m now married and live here in the US.

  5. I am an unmarried mother as well. Take care of yourself as well as your child.

    1. Thank you Angela. I wrote this topic 2 years ago when I am still single mother as I am inspired to write my journey in life and want to share my story in a hope to inspire other single mothers and not to give up whatever may happen. Sorry for the late response as I am changing into a self hosted blog.

  6. Really nice piece. You also have a beautiful daughter.

    1. Thank you so much! Sharing my ups and down in life. I wrote this topic when I am still single 2 years ago. I am now here in Arizona married to an amazing man. We’re always go on roadtrips every Sunday. I wish I have more time to write about my journey in life to share others on wherever life takes me.

  7. I dont even know you and I am so proud of what you have achieved, continue to pull through your daughter is so gorgeous.

    1. Thank you Juli for reading my journey in life. My daughter is my happiness and inspiration in life. Now, we’re both here in Arizona enjoying life on roadtrips and travel adventures. God is so good!

  8. Giada

    I’m a single mum. It’s so hard!

    1. It’s true Giada. And seeing my daughter everyday makes me strong to push life and dream more for her. I will do my best for her. Thanks much for reading my journey in life.

  9. You are a very strong woman, and you have raised a beautiful daughter!

    1. Thank you Allie Bock! After those trials in life, no problems can shaken me anymore. If I encounter problems, I’ll just say “hmmm that’s so small problem”. She’s such a sweet daughter. I’m so blessed for having her in my life.

  10. I enjoyed your story. It takes strength, courage and a whole host of stuff to be a parent. And doing it alone is definitely hard. You are awesome!

    1. Thanks much Lawrence Hamilton for reading my journey in life. It’s really hard to raise a child alone. This is my first topic of my blog that I wrote 2 years ago when I am still a single mother. I always cry everyday and always thinking of my daughter’s future. Because of her, I dream big and pushing my life to give her a good future. We’re now here in Arizona always go on adventure.

  11. As a single mom like you, I feel what you have been through, working and living away from your child isn’t easy.
    Single mom’s duties and responsibilities are the hardest thing one could fulfill, I wrote about it here https://empoweringanduplifting.com/blog/moms-duties/

    I commend you for staying strong even when you wanted to give up, and staying whole even when you were shattered, all for your child.

    1. Thanks for sharing your link dear. Muntikan na akong mabaliw nung time na niloko ako ng Papa ng anak ko. Di ko matanggap ang nangyari at lalong Di ko matanggap ang broken family. But I don’t have a choice kundi mag let go and move on dahil may iba na cyang mahal. Masyadong masakit na you give your best for him. Pinaaral ko pa yon, binilhan ng motor at padala ng pera monthly kasi plan ko pagbalik sa pinas after ng contract sa Taiwan mag teach kaming dalawa. Pero wala….lahat ng pangarap ko ay nawala..and it takes many years to move on. At least ngayon, no more hatred in my life at yan ang importante sakin. Maraming salamat Crisly.

  12. You are such a brave mum! Don’t know how you can do it but hands down to you and yr family. All the best!

  13. You have a lovely daughter. This is a great post for single mom. Keep doing your great work by writing inspiring stories.

    1. She does and such a sweet darling. This is my first post with my blog. I am inspired to write about my ups and down in life. Thanks much!

  14. Such an inspiring story! My mom also gave birth to me, when she was 22 and she raised me alone. It is really hard to be a single mom! My admirations! <3

    1. It’s truly hard raising a child alone. But seeing her everyday, will make me dream more for her. Thank you

  15. Such an inspiring story! My mom also gave birth to me, when she was 22 and she raised me alone. It is really hard to be a single mom! My admirations! <3 !

  16. I can relate! From one single mom to another, been there. My sons are now on their 20s but the trials and tribulations were tough. It was like a never ending roller coaster at one point. Very compelling story and you two look so happy!

    1. Thank you so much Anissa! My daughter is now 13 years old. Been through a lot in life. But I never give up. Now, we’re here in Arizona doing adventure together and enjoying life.

  17. You are truly an inspiration!
    I hope your gets to see your as her main role model for those sacrifices are incredible and full of your love for her.
    Wishing you and your daughter all the happiness and joy in the world!
    Hugs!

    1. Thanks much Picki! As I am writing this story 2 years ago, I can’t control my tears. I’m emotional but inspired to write as I want to share it to others especially to the single moms.

  18. Lovely but heart breaking. But I’m glad your daughter is a source of joy and comfort to you through all your travails. Keep your head up, Mama, the best is yet to come.

    1. Thank you so much Victoria! This is my story when I am still single mom. I am now married and enjoying life with my daughter doing adventure together.

  19. Thank you for sharing your story.

    1. Thanks for reading my story sir. Just inspired sharing my story in life

  20. Love your daughter, set her good example and give her the best you can .

    1. Thanks much Ingrid. I will.

  21. Cadina

    You rock!! What a beautiful story, your strength and love for your child made you work harder than you can imagine!!

    1. Thank you Cadina. She’s my only treasure in life

  22. I believe it can be had sometimes, but it’s definitely worth of it! Enjoy your life girls! 🙂

  23. good read. you are wonderful because you can do anything for your child. i really admire every single mom in the world.

  24. I can’t even imagine being a single parent. You are doing a great job and it will make your daughter so much stronger because of your sacrifice and dedication.

  25. Kayla

    Thank you for showing bravery and telling your story. I’m sorry you have gone through this, but it just makes you that much stronger!

  26. Powerful blog that will give strength to the single moms out there 🙂

  27. Powerful blog that will give strength to the single moms out there. Will wait for more, keep it up 🙂

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